YouTube video sermon
Proverbs 13:3 (various texts)
Peter Marshall once said, “The use of the right word, the exact word, is the difference between a pencil with a sharp point and a thick crayon.” So, if you had to choose the right word, the exact word to describe the last year, what would it be? How would you summarize what we experienced in 2020? As you’re thinking about that, let me invite you to take your copy of God’s Word and turn with me to the 13th chapter of the Book of Proverbs.
Every year the editors of Merriam-Webster online take up the task of identifying the “Word of the Year.” Based upon a statistical analysis of queries and searches, the dictionary wordsmiths attempt to index key cultural concerns and societal trends. And this past year there were concerns and trends aplenty!
Because of Joe Biden’s use of the word during one of the debates, thousands of would-be voters scrambled to the dictionary looking up the word “malarkey.” Then there was the sudden spike of interest in schadenfreude, a borrowed word from the German. It’s compounded from shaden, meaning “calamity” or “adversity,” and freude meaning “gladness” or “joy.” When the new NHL franchise in Seattle announced that it had chosen kraken as its team name and mascot, searches for the word skyrocketed 128,000 percent in a single day. Ultimately, the phrase “release the kraken” took on a life all its own.
Of course, the words most frequently looked up last year had to do with COVID-19. Rarely have words moved from the professional medical field to everyday vocabulary as quickly as the words: coronavirus, asymptomatic, quarantine, epidemiology, herd-immunity, pathogenicity, and immunocompromised.
When the World Health Organization officially declared that COVID-19 was a global pandemic, that word, “pandemic,” earned the single largest spike in dictionary traffic, with an increase of nearly 116,000 percent. The Greek root pan means “all” or “every.” And demos means “people.” So, taken together, the word literally means “among all people” or “of everyone everywhere.” Obviously, we used it to describe a virus that had spread uncontrollably. And so… in the end, Merriam-Webster’s editors realized that this was the right word, the exact word, to describe the last year.
This morning, we’re going to be looking at the power of words. Proverbs has an awful lot to say about our words, and the focal passage this morning is Proverbs 13:3. I’ll be referencing many other proverbs along the way; so, if you’re taking notes, you might want to jot them down. Solomon writes, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3)
Father, we pray now that with our Bibles open before us, You will teach us from Your Word, that You will grant to us correction, that You will train us in the path of righteousness, that You will convict us of that which is displeasing to You, and that You will engender in us a genuine desire to become not only students of Your book but also those who, by Your divine enabling, put into practice what we learn. Save us from being tasters without benefiting from the nutrition of Your Word. For we pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Words are seldom neutral, are they? Think about this most recent week. We employed adverbs, adjectives, verbs, and nouns – the whole deal. We put them together in a way that had the potential for engendering strife and creating confusion, or we chose to use our words in such a way so as to encourage, to nourish, and to heal.
Some of us may have taught our children to sing a song that we grew up singing,
O, be careful, little feet, where you go,
O, be careful, little eyes, what you see;
O, be careful, little hands, what you touch,
And be careful, little lips, what you say.
For there’s a Father up above,
And he’s looking down in love.
So be careful, little lips, what you say.
We were simply, in verse, affirming the story of Hebrews 4:12-13 that every word that is spoken is heard by God, that nothing misses His gaze, that our lives are exposed before Him. Thomas Brooks, one of the Puritans, said “We know metals by their tinkling, and men by their talking.” And when coins were coins, you could flip a coin, have your eyes closed, and you could say, “That is a nickel,” or “That is a dime,” or whatever it is. Some of you might still possess that capacity.
So, let’s consider this from three angles. That’ll be no surprise to you who are regular attenders. Why three? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because the Bible seems to have an unusual preoccupation with that number (right?). In any case, I want to view it from three perspectives: Using words to harm. Using words to help. Using words to hide.
Using Words to Harm
First of all, then, it’s an abuse of language when we use words to harm. The Bible says that’s a sin we should avoid. Indeed, it’s one of the distinctive facts of the fallenness of humanity that we don’t need to teach our children how to use words that will be harmful or hurtful. They hear us and see us and they naturally follow suit.
What are the characteristics of words that harm? Well, there are many, but let me just give you three.
First of all, reckless words. I’m not going to give you every reference in Proverbs; it would be too tedious. But consider Proverbs 12:18: “Reckless words pierce like a sword.” That’s an interesting way of putting it Solomon. It’s the image of somebody unsheathing a sword and moving it around in an unceremonious and unguarded fashion. In the Wild West it’s the fellow that takes his guns out of his holsters and fires them indiscriminately into the dusty ground underneath the person, who’s forced to jump and run in order to avoid being killed or wounded.
Second, are unguarded words. Solomon speaks of “he who answers before listening,” and he says, “that is [to] his folly and his shame” (Proverbs 18:13) We know what it is to answer before the question, don’t we? Doctors do it: “I wanted to tell you how I’m feeling.” “Let me prescribe for you!” “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t…” Pastors do it; they begin preaching before the person has shared their story. Husbands do it; we begin answering before our wives have told us what their concern is. It’s this unguarded talk that begins to volunteer information before the person has even time to listen. And this unguarded, reckless, unbridled use of the tongue, is what English clergyman Edward Reyner called “the chariot in which the devil rides.”
Thirdly, words that are harmful are far too numerous. Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, sin is not absent.” It really makes sense, doesn’t it? Just consider the law of averages. When we speak and we begin to speak too much, inevitably there will be things that are said that we wished we hadn’t said, things that we would like to take back and can’t, words that we let slip out that we really never intended to use, things that we said about another person that we really should have kept to ourselves. Many times the problem is simply talking too much. “When words are many, sin is not absent.”
Using too many reckless and unguarded words we can destroy our neighbor, crush the feelings of a friend, set fire to relationships between people – all by simply employing words! Phenomenal potential for harm. One wrong word may spoil a person’s character, smear a person’s reputation, or mar the usefulness of someone’s life for a very long time. A poet once inscribed these words:
A careless word may kindle strife,
A cruel word may wreck a life,
A bitter word may hate instill,
A brutal word may smite and kill.
Now that’s straightforward. It’s clear. It’s unavoidable. It’s dreadfully painful, because all of us understand it. And when we use our tongues in a way that’s harmful, a number of things will inevitably follow. One of them is that we will divide people who should be friends. Proverbs 16:28: “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates … friends.”
We all know people that can be in a room less than two minutes and they’ve got one person set against another person: “Did you hear about this? Do you know what she said? I was just talking on the phone to so and so, and she said such and such. I’m only telling you this because it’s true. I just have a little prayer request for you, in the corner.” Yeah, sure!
Think about it. It’s not difficult to estimate how many friendships are broken, how many reputations are ruined, the peace of how many homes destroyed through careless words – words that harm people.
Let me offer just two more quick results of harmful words. Harmful words destroy the praise of God’s people. Ephesians 5:18 “Be filled with the Spirit,” and Ephesians 4:30 “Do not grieve the … Spirit.” How do you grieve the Spirit? In part, by the use of words that harm.
It’s impossible to have a vibrant, meaningful, worship service with people who have spent the week harming others with their mouths. Think about it. That’s us each Sunday. This congregation is a group of sinful people that are trying to bring praise and worship to our God and King, or Creator and Sustainer, or Lord and Savior. That’s why James puts his finger on it, and he says, “With [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:9-10).
Do you want to see the amazing grace of Jesus at work – just come to one of our worship services. Jesus takes people that have used their words to harm people during the week and turns them to praise Him, and prayerfully, in the process, turns their hearts back to him and their mouths away from harm.
Finally – in this section on harmful words – not only do our words divide us and destroy praise, but they diminish the progress of the people of God. In Jeremiah chapter 7, Jeremiah speaks to the people there, and he says, “You know, you folks think you’re going forward? I’ve got news for you: you’re going backwards. And the reason that you’re going backwards,” he says, “is because the plain instruction of God to you, you’ve got your fingers in your ears when it comes to listening, and you’ve got your eyes closed when it comes to seeing, and you’re moving in the wrong direction,” and at the heart of it all, in verse 28, he says, “[T]ruth has perished; it is cut off from their lips” (Jeremiah 7:28).
Using words to harm. They’re reckless, unguarded, and too many. And they result in division, destroying worship and diminishing our sanctification.
Using Words to Help
So, let’s turn to the positive side, see if that’s a little better. How about using words to help? If the speech of a scoundrel is like a scorching fire, (Proverbs 16:27) then “the mouth of the righteous,” says Solomon, “is like a fountain of life” (Proverbs 10:11).
Wonderful picture, isn’t it? Scorching fire, burning everything in its way. Fountain of life; people love to come to it and be refreshed. Or the healing tongue, he says, is like “a tree of life,” (Proverbs 15:4) reminding us that the power of the tongue may be employed to encourage, to affirm, to enrich, to reconcile, to forgive, to unite, to smooth, to bless.
The other half of that anonymous poem that I quoted earlier continues with these words:
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.
Well, what are the characteristics of words that help? If the words that harm are reckless, unguarded, and too numerous, how about employing words to help? Well, let me offer a few clues.
Number one, they need always to be honest words. Proverbs 16:13 says, “Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.”
Secondly, they need to be thought-out words. Proverbs 15:28 says, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” What a great verb: gushes evil. The difference between thought-out words and the completely unbridled, reckless use of terminology – just someone whose mouth is like the opening up of a fire hydrant on an afternoon, and all of a sudden, it’s everywhere and over everybody. Somebody said, “Is it possible to get a glass of water?” and the answer was, “Watch this,” and it went everywhere! Someone says, “I had a question about such and such,” and instead of simply getting a word, they get a dictionary.
Third, the words that help will also be few rather than many. Solomon deals with this quite ironically in chapter 17 when he says, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (17:28). We know this from school, many of us, don’t we? You sit in a chemistry class, you’ve gotta make sure you sit next to the right person – somebody who knows what he’s talking about, an intelligent group. Don’t sit with the Norris boys. Learn the art of nodding, and shaking, and the look of deep contemplation of the ramifications of these great theories – and hopefully, volunteer nothing at all. Because even a fool is thought wise if he stays silent, and you may be taken as discerning if you hold your tongue.
Words that help also need to be calm words. Calming words allow for a fair hearing in a dispute; calming words allow tempers to cool; the calming, soft tongue that will “break a bone” (Proverbs 25:15). What an interesting statement! “The soft tongue has the power to break the bone.”
You say, “How can a soft tongue break a bone?” You think about at the beginning of Romans 2: “Do you presume on the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” It’s God’s kindness in the face of our rebellion, it’s Jesus’ tenderness in the face of our resistance, that may be used to melt our hearts. It’s Jesus’ soft words in the moment of our sin that lead us to say, “This kind of love is amazing to me!”
We’re all confronted by unfairness, unfriendliness, unkindness, and we’re a part of this same mixture. It takes far more to respond in gentleness than it does to give way to unbridled passion and anger. You’re driving the car: “Well, if I ever get the chance again, I’ll know what I’ll say next time. ’Cause I was slow off the mark, but I’ve got it now! I hope she says it again. I hope she says it as soon as I get back, because I’m ready for her this time.” Go ahead and gush. Go ahead and be reckless. Go ahead and stir up dissension. Go ahead and defend your course. “A gentle answer turns away wrath” says Solomon.
So helpful words are honest words; they’re thought-out words; they’re few rather than numerous, and they’re calming rather than divisive.
Using Words to Hide
Finally, just a word about using words to hide. What I’m referring to here is the temptation to hide behind empty words. Solomon says, “Mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23) – financial poverty, relational poverty, spiritual poverty. He says, “Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart” (Proverbs 26:23). He says, “You can’t do it. You can’t conceal it. You’re not going to be able to disguise, before God, the reality of your character by thinking that you can take the earthenware part of your life and simply glaze it over with all the kinds of terminology that make people think that you’re in the know and that you’re on track.”
And there’s nothing that creates this more in the realm of hypocrisy than within the framework of a religious environment, and we become adept at hiding the poverty of our own spiritual life behind terminology – words that are a thin disguise.
Isn’t it amazing (it is to me) that when God reveals Himself in His searing, unblemished holiness to Isaiah the prophet – the prophet whose whole life is about his lips – when God makes Himself known to Isaiah, he falls on his face, and what does he say? “I am a man of unclean lips!” (Isaiah 6:5). In other words, Isaiah is admitting that it’s within the realm of his greatest giftedness where his deepest failure lies.
Jesus warns that we will give an account for these things. And Paul says to Timothy, “I want you to be an example to the believers first of all in speech” (1 Timothy 4:12). Not in preaching. In speech! Jesus said the same thing to the Pharisees. He said, “You’re a bunch of talkers. You love it when people say, ‘Oh, have you seen them doing their alms? Oh, have you seen them attending the services? Oh, have you listened to their prayers at the corner of the street?’” He says, “If you live in such a way so as to hide behind the multitude of your words, enjoy your reward, because there will never be a reward on the day of judgment” (Matthew 6:1-2, paraphrased).
And if all of that is not demanding enough, listen to what Jesus said about our words, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak…” And then He lays it down hard and heavy, “for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:26-27). What does He mean by that? Simply this: that you know a metal by its tinkle, you know a man by his talk, and our words and our works achieve nothing for us before the gate of heaven but… BUT our words and our works are the evidence that our profession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is true and not fake.
Let me conclude with a story that I believe drives home the wisdom of words. I don’t recall when I first heard the story. I believe it was in seminary, but whenever it was it’s stuck with me through the years and I’ve often imagined how it might have played out.
In Corrie ten Boom’s book The Hiding Place, she tells the story of her father’s remarkable wisdom. When Corrie was a little girl, preadolescent, she was traveling with her father on the train to Amsterdam from their home in Haarlem, in the Netherlands. Her father was a watchmaker, and he traveled once a week for repair parts, for new watches that he sold in his story, and to get the accurate time from a special clock in Amsterdam so that he could be assured all of his clocks and watches in Haarlem were accurate. He carried with him a large, heavy briefcase with spare parts and tools. Corrie had read the word “sex” some time before, and could not imagine what it meant. So she asked her father on the train.
“Father, what is sex?”
She writes, “He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.”
“Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?” he said.
“It’s too heavy,” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you’re older and stronger you can bear it. For now, you must trust me to carry it for you.”
I stand in awe of that kind of wisdom. It’s almost as though the answer came from another world. Then I think of the kind of man he must have been. A faithful man. A man of the Word. A man of prayer. A man of obedience. A wise man. His wisdom and articulate speech were an outgrowth of his close walk with the Lord. That’s how it is with wise speech.